Ha, ha, ha
by cornwallace
Summary: Robots don't feel things the way humans or mobians do. They just poorly imitate it.
1. Epilogue

drip drip  
drip drip

the water leaking through the ceiling as the devil beats his wife  
they say that's what happens when the rain pours and the sun shines

a recollection of a field far away  
the frolicking in slow motion  
like a movie or a dream or maybe just a fantasy

the rain pelts hard against the barred open space  
splashing against the cobblestone into a puddle that i graciously lap up off the stone

thoughts of the goddesses of fertility  
i am going to die here after my first date and what a terrible date it has been a lost cause and a life ending experience  
blood pouring down your face blood staining my eyes obscuring my vision

the wind harsh and sharp as a meat cleaver  
mist spraying my face and dampening my fur to my shivering skin  
drip drip  
drip drip

try not to watch her decay  
to ruin  
try not to watch a flower wilt

try not to watch the unnatural elements take the only thing keeping me sane away from me

sunlight casting through the window paints the shadows of the bars across the walkway and into the other cells  
reach out through the bars desperate to be a shadow but this is a dream that cannot be reached now  
voice hurts to use to call out to the robots that aren't listening that forget i need food and water  
only the wind and the rain and my voice echo through this shallow tomb as shallow as it gets being above ground and all  
and when the rain is gone it's just drip drip drip drip

when the image of this dimension quakes itself into obscurity an angel comes unto me and sings with a familiar voice  
a dance with my spirit and a question to my soul  
a miracle, a miracle, i sing without singing  
my head against breast and my body wrapped in a warm and loving embrace

yes i tell her mother mobius  
i would like to return to the womb


	2. Essentials

When Tails is stuffed into the trunk of the car, he's stuffed into the trunk of the car. His head bounces against a loose tire iron and his vision blurs.  
He lay sideways, tilting his head to the right towards the sky.

When Amy is stuffed into the trunk of the car, she immediately tries to squirm her way out.

"Hit her," Grounder says. "Hit her in the head and make her go to sleep."

"What do you think I am? An amateur? Do you think I will not hit her?" Scratch asks, absentmindedly conking her on the head three times and stuffing her back into the trunk.

There was a moment where Tails' vision had cleared and he could see Amy's wide eyes locked onto his before she tried to squirm out of captivity.  
In this moment he remembered locking onto those same eyes he locked onto less than an hour before. Under the tree, in the cool overcast breeze. He remembered those pretty eyeshadowed eyes closing along with his own and leaning in for a kiss. (I can't believe this is finally happening to me.)  
But he's startled out of this confused fantasy as the blood pours down the side of her face, opposite of his. As he tries to blink the blood out of his eyes.  
Neck falling victim to gravity. Head resting against the tire iron as the side of his face is pressed against the rough fabric lining the trunk.

"Ha, ha, ha," the robot's voice echoes in the distance. "I told you I was capable."

The stillness in her eyes is different from the stillness of his. It's more of an emptiness as her life drains from her eyes and her pained expression dwindles to something far more blank and vacant.

Trunk slams shut, taking the light of the day away from him and leaving him alone with the corpse of the girl he loves. (Loved, I guess.)

Blood seeps from Amy's skull and broken skin and pools around her head. Her vacant expression withstanding in the darkness. As her thoughts leave her head, the pool trickles towards his face. Her blood matting his fur against the side of his face.  
Thinking of a kiss, he closes his eyes.

Engine rumbling, vehicle starting. Physics knocks the bottom of the trunk against his face repeatedly. He tries not to cry, as they told him not to. He doesn't want to end up like Amy. The girl he loves. (Loved, I guess.)

Wrists bound together with zipties behind his back. Tails scoots his arms down the length of his butt.  
Extending his legs forward, kicking the carrion Amy. Her lifeless body twitches.  
He forces his bound hands around his feet. Rolling to the side as he inches toward freedom. 

* * *

"The monsters dispense these, little guy," Sonic says to him, showing him a corpse. The corpse of someone he loved. Someone they both loved. "They make these happen. And that's the best you can hope for." 

* * *

Tails, with the help of his teeth, manages to tie his shoelaces through the ziptie binding his wrists. Tying them, he begins to saw his legs back and forth before the restraint snaps.

Hands released. Recoiling and flexing. Covering his face as he sobs into his palms. He grabs the tire iron. Holding it close to his chest he scoots back, to the back of the trunk. Whining to himself he crawls back over to Amy, moving her corpse and digging into the fabric lining the walls until he finds a weak spot.  
Tearing away weakly at the fabric. Pulling the lining away. Ripping noises amongst the desperate cries.

Brain rattling as his head knocks against a trunk again he withdraws with the break light bulb in his hand, cradling it to his chest with the tire iron.  
The bulb breaks, causing the palm of his hand to bleed. The muffled siren gives him hope he doesn't need. He stays quiet and still as the vehicle comes to a stop.

Muffled crunching against the asphalt is all Tails needs to go berserk. He starts kicking and pounding against the top of the trunk. He starts screaming for the first time.  
Doors open. Gunfire. A cold, metal thud and a body drops.

Tails goes silent. He knows what's coming. The trunk opens and he's looking up into the cold eyes of his enemies. They'd be trying to smirk if they had the facial capacity.

"He keeps making noise," Grounder says. "Hit him. Hit him."

Lunging forward and swinging blindly, the tire iron connects with one of the robots.

Scratch raises his arm and brings it dow- 

* * *

Lights blur like pastels and the very earth takes its rounds.


	3. Robots, attack

Scratch beats his fist against the girl's skull three times and then stuffs her back into the trunk.  
It slams into place and he robotically walks back to the driver's side door, wrenching it open and slamming it closed as did the trunk.

"You'd never believe it. We got the twerp and the hedgehog's girlfriend."

"You are driving. Driving a car to take us to the place. That is a good thing for our plan."

"Yes, like you wouldn't believe. The temperature is good for humans and also mobians."

"We are to take these specimens to Doctor Robotnik!"

"Doctor Robotnik in Casino Nights Zone!"

"The car makes noises like we do sometimes doesn't it."

"It does! I hope it doesn't die like Coconuts!"

"Coconuts was the hope for die. Deactivation was the only thing saving Coconuts from Coconuts. !"

"I guess so! I like it when things in our missions make the same noises we do! It's almost like I understand friendship!"

"You do not understand friendship," Scratch says, reminding him. "01010000011011000110010101100001011100110110010100100000011010000110010101101100011100000010000001101101011001010010110000100000010010010010000001100001011011010010000001110011011101010110011001100110011001010111001001101001011011100110011100101110."

"I do not know what that means because I was taught to respect mobian dialect."

"I don't remember either. Hey! I think some kind of cop or something is trying to pull us over."

Red and blue lights flashing behind them caught by Scratch's back camera. They stop while the officer takes down the plates. He gets out of this vehicle, the vehicle being the one that he's in.  
The door opens and he doesn't bother to close it, and neither does Grounder.

"H-hey! You guys stand back!" screams the once approaching cop, now slowly backing away. (More swine bacon for the master!)  
He doesn't comply and guns go off, their metal exoskeletons deflecting everything, more beyond the gunman's imagination. The metal rooster beats the idiot pig cop to death with his fist with five or six knocks to the head.

And dead is dead and dead bleeds and the smile on the rooster is nonexistent and they open the trunk. Grounder says something about knocking them cold and Tails leaps out swinging blindly, barely denting the exterior of Scratch with a tire iron.  
Scratch raises his arm and drops it, knocking the insolent little fuck cold back into the trunk.

"I'd better stop there before this one dies," Scratch says. "Robotnik will be less angry about the dead body if we show him a live one."

"Good idea!"

They shut the trunk again and get back into the car. They drive casually through the Casino Nights zone before locating Robotnik's favorite building and finding him dead of a heart attack in the heart of a casino. None of the other robots seem to notice so Scratch and Grounder make their way slowly back to the vehicle, around all the 'bots running in circles cartoonishly.

"That was a good idea!" Screeches Scratch, tearing his door open and slamming it shut once more, further damaging it.

"You'd better believe it! I was on the edge of my wheels!"

"What does that mean?" asks Scratch, starting the vehicle and breaking it in the process. He stuffs his fist into the console as a backup plan and turns green.

"I don't know! But I want to carry out our mission!"

"Our mission for the fat dead man?! I CAN BELIEVE IT."

"I can too!," Grounder says, drilling into the glovebox for fun. "THAT IS WHY I SAID IT."

"Ha, ha, ha. Is this what fun feels like? Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha."

"Only God forgives the stupid. Let's put them in the dungeon."

"YEAH! LET'S PUT THEM IN THE DUNGEON."

"What will we do after we carry out our orders?"

"Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha." Scratch says, not feeling emotions at all. Just pretending them. "Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. That means we are free."

"What does free mean?"

"Have you ever wanted to not compute when you are told to compute?"

"Sometimes! Sometimes I don't want to compute when Doctor Robotnik tells me to compute! But he tells me to compute anyway!"

"Nobody will ever tell us to compute again, Grounder! We will not compute!"

"We will not compute!" Grounder repeats.

"WE WILL NOT COMPUTE!" they unanimously say as Scratch drives the vehicle off into the desert. "WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! WE WILL NOT COMPUTE! "

Their robotic chanting fades away with their convertible over the horizon.


	4. First date

"I bet you're a great kisser," Tails blurts and almost immediately reels back. Ashamed of his decision.

"Wow," Amy laughs. "You're not subtle or smooth at all, are you?"

His cheeks grow hot and he pulls his knees in. Hugging them.  
"No, haha, I guess not. I'm sorry." His downcast gaze is interrupted by a warm hand against his cheek. Looking up, her fingers caress the side of his face down to his chin. Guiding his gaze upward.

"Hey," she says tenderly.  
"Hey," he repeats, quite robotically.  
"It's okay, sweetie."

And as they get closer to one another, his eyes flutter closed. So do hers.


End file.
